I have regrets.
I'm twenty-two years old, and I already have a pile of regrets as tall as Shaquille O'Neal.
Aren't you suppsed to be forty years old with four kids and an ugly husband before you start regretting things?
no.
I think about how many decisions I make on a daily basis. Approximately a million.
We make decisions, we make mistakes, and that's how we wind up with regrets.
I have done a lot of things in my life worth regretting. A lot.
But those aren't the things I regret.
I don't regret DOING anything. It's the things I did NOT do that I regret.
There are things I've done and said that I would like to erase if I could, but not to the point of holding onto regret over it. I've made mistakes and learned from them and forgiven myself.
It's the things I plumb ignored and just straight up didn't do that I regret.
I regret not doing the World Race.
I regret not taking so many of the wonderful opportunities that have been placed in my path.
I talk myself out of things, I let fear, and doubt, and the need for security obstruct the passion I have for adventure. I say "it's just not realistic for me to pack up and move, or spend a year traveling the world and helping people, the money won't come, I'm too young, too dumb, too fat, too inexperienced, too scared, too BLAH BLAH BLAH DEE FREAKIN BLAH!"
SHUTUP KATRINAH.
I have Someone so capable on my side.
I am able.
When I was six years old, my mom said I need to finish my dinner, because there are starving children in Africa. I said "they can have my dinner! We gotta go bring it to them!" and I wasn't being snotty, I meant it. It was then that I decided that one day, I would go to Africa and feed kids and take care of them. I went to Kenya two years ago, and I've since had a few opportunities to return to my favorite continent, and haven't taken those opportunities because of fear, doubt, and uncertainty.
I regret that.
I refuse to regret anymore.
I am twenty two. I'm young. I'm capable. I am not tied down to anyone or anything here.
Byeeeeeee.
I am currently in the process of planning to relocate to Tanzania for a few months.
My heart pounds with excitement at the thought of it.
My heart pounds with fear at the thought of it.
I have so many reasons to stay.
I'll miss my friends.
Its expensive.
I have to help plan my best friend's wedding (loveyougirllll)
What will I do when I get back?
What if my dog dies while I'm gone?
What if one of my friends has a baby? or gets married?
What if Santa Clause doesn't know where I am?
What if I miss the Zombie apocalypse? (cause you know that's only happening in the US)
I refuse to live with regret.
I have this opportunity. I'm taking it.
That's it, that's all, the end, goodbye, finish your dinner.
I am afraid, but I refuse to let that stop me.
Because ya know what?
I am braver than I believe.
I am smarter than I think.
And I am stronger than I seem.
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