Help me, I'm poor.

I do not know where to start.
Yesterday, I walked into Cheti with the intention of it being my last day.
I was sad to leave, but I had made my peace.
The kids have their sponsors taking care of them, they're fine, right?
When I told the director, Zuma, that I was switching schools, he was sad, but said he understood.
Then he told me that every single student was dropped from the sponsorship program.
There was a contractual issue and over 80 kids lost their sponsorship.
WHAT?
How does this even happen?
I look to my left- there's a rock.
Turn to the right- oh look, a hard place!
And there's me, in between.

So what's the first thing I do?
I sponsor one.
Guess which one.
That's right, it was Angel, good guess!

Oh my gosh, look at that smile!



So what's the second thing I do?
I start asking questions.
I start calculating.
I start making plans.
I start crying.

I can't sponsor 80 kids.
So I start planning.
I can start a non-profit group and travel around to concerts and music fests at home to get sponsors for the kids.
It's expensive to start a non-profit, you have to pay for a lawyer, and all kinds of paperwork and stuff.
Okay, so I'll make paintings and sell those to pay for a lawyer. I can make bracelets, save all my tips at work.
80 kids.
I'll get the word out on facebook and twitter and pinterest.
80 kids.
I'll be relentless and pushy.
80 kids.
I'll talk to everyone I know about it.
80 kids.
I'll go to churches and schools and businesses.
80 kids.
I'll get them sponsored.
80 kids.
I'll vomit.
I'll just vomit.

Now that I'm done vomiting, I'm thinking with a clear head.
I'm going to spend part of my week at Cheti, and part at my new school, Nellito.
I'm going to get as many kids sponsored as I can while I'm here.
And when I get home, I'm starting a non-profit to get sponsors for the kids.
Still trying to come up with a name and everything.
I'm thinking Upendo le Watoto. (love the children)
I know that it will not be easy.
But whatever happens, it will work out.
Because I am not alone.
I am so blessed.
I have a very present Help in times of need.
Plus incredible friends and family.
I call out for help, and fifty people run to my side by spreading the word about the kids, offering to sponsor one, giving me moral support, or mailing me Ramen noodles!


So this is the part where I ask you to sponsor a kid.
It would cost either $15 or $30 per month depending on whether the child is in pre-school (up to second grade) or primary school (after second grade)
For $15 a month, you can give Salma a chance in life.

(and maybe she'll give me back my glasses)

 

We see those commercials on TV with the naked, crying kids and the sad song playing and the old man asking you for 35 cents a day.

I am not an old man and these kids are not naked and crying.

But I am asking you to help them.
These kids are happy, joyful, often loud little monsters who, at this point, have no idea that they could be dropped from school soon, because Zuma and I are trying to figure out how to keep that from happening.
These are MY kids.
They have been placed in my path, and I'm responsible for helping them.
Please, help me do that.
Even just by sharing this blog, on facebook, twitter, and pinterest.

At this point, I just need to collect money, and start paying the kid's school fees, and once I start the non-profit, I can begin an actual sponsorship program.

But if you do want to sponsor someone, we can start now! I can send you their picture and story, and give you updates on how they are doing.

This project is just a baby right now, but I know that it will be a success, because these kids deserve it.

Thanks for reading, and thanks in advance for sharing.
The kids say thanks too!
Asante sana!

The only time you can actually be brave, is when you're afraid.

Wow.
I have a big decision to make.
Actually, I'm pretty sure I've already decided, I  just have to see how long it takes me to admit it to myself.
The school that I'm teaching at is called CHETI. It is an awesome school. The director is an incredible man named Zuma. He loves the kids so much and cares about the school as if all the students were his own kids.
CHETI is pretty well-off compared to a lot of schools here. The kids in my class might share 2 erasers between them all, but that's 2 more erasers than a lot of other schools have.
Most of my kids come from very poor families, but they have sponsors. They are being taken care of.

Today, I went to visit a school that is more of a day-orphanage.
Most of the kids are living with a family member or family-friend after their parents died.
The person they are living with cannot afford to send them to school or give them an education.
The classroom I was in was a class of three and four year-olds.
They had no teacher.
Someone had written numbers on the board and then left the kids in the room to copy them down.
They are three and four.
I don't know a single four year old who would sit in a classroom and just copy numbers from a blackboard with no teacher in the room.
The kids were peeing on themselves, peeing on the floor outside the classroom, hitting each other, and crying.
My cousin, Jamie, has a daughter who is four.
I kept seeing her when I looked at these kids.
Alone in a classroom with no one actually looking after her or taking care of her.
I would never let that happen to my little LuLu.
So how can I let it happen to these kids who DON'T have someone watching out for them?

I look at my students at CHETI and I just think, "I love them so much. I love them, I love them, I love them!"
But I looked at these children today and I thought, "I can help them. I think."

It will be a challenge. But I think I can make a difference.
If I decide to switch schools, I will miss my students so much. Especially little Angel.
But I know that Angel and her classmates will be okay.
Their sponsors will take care of them, they'll make it to secondary school and probably university.

But what about these kids I spent the day with today?
No one will even take them to the bathroom.
Who's going to help them learn and function in life?
Me?
I don't know.

I still have to think about it.
I will cry saying goodbye to my students and my heart will break leaving CHETI.
But I think this may be what I have to do.
Pray for me, send your thoughts my way, because I'm scared.

This is one of those situations where I have to really remind myself that I am
Braver than I Believe.

I'm usually really happy, but some days, I stay in bed and eat and cry.

So I haven't blogged in a while.
There's just a lot going on, and I can't organize my thoughts into words, so I had some friends from home ask me questions and I'm gonna answer them!
Here we go...

Question 1: Are you okay?
Answer: Yes! I am okay! Sometimes it's rough, I don't always know how to handle my kids, sometimes I miss home, sometimes I feel like I'm not doing anything worthwhile, but ALL the time, I am glad to be here and have the opportunity to serve and love and meet the incredible people I work with!

Question 2: What is the weather and food like?
Answer: Weather is beautiful most days! Here in Arusha, it's not too hot, usually around 80ish degrees during the day. It does rain a lot but its usually quick, and gets warm again right after. Food: pretty good! Every day at  school I eat Chapati and avocado for lunch. If you know me, you know that avocado is my favorite thing that exists! Chapati is like a thick tortilla kind of thing made from flour and oil. We eat a lot of chapati. We also eat a lot of rice and mango.

Question 3: Can you get a good pizza over there?
Answer: NO! Being from New Jersey, I am of the belief that you cannot get a good pizza anywhere outside of the tri-state area. I have had a few pizzas here, and nothing has measured up, but sometimes you just want some familiarity so you order a cardboardy, ketchupy pizza anyway.

Question 4: What has been the most challenging part of being there?
Answer: Hmmm good question. I think the most challenging part would be working in the midst of the Tanzanian education system and not being able to change the core of anything. I can try to implement my own teaching methods with my students. But its difficult to break through the walls that have been built up by their previous teachers and I know that even if I get through to my students, as soon as I leave, some other teacher will swoop right back in and build the walls back up unintentionally, because that's the only way they know how to teach.

Question 5: What is the most awesome thing you like about Tanzania?
Answer: The diversity throughout the country! You can climb Mt. Kilimanjaro, go on Safari and see all these incredible animals, be in a big city like Arusha with lots of hustle and bustle, go to Zanzibar and feel like you are literally in an island paradise, be in Maasai land which is beautiful but is a whole lotta donkeys, rocks, and mud huts. You can see incredible wealth and extreme poverty right next to each other.

Question 6: What is a typical day like?
Answer: Well I wake up at 6:30 and leave at 7:00, and by that I mean my alarm goes off at 6:30 and I hit snooze until 7:30 and leave at 8:00 and usually wind up late. I take the "bus" into town and walk to the village that my school is in, it's about an hour commute. I teach for about 6 hours. Teaching can entail actual teaching, like teaching how to count and read letters, or it can entail singing songs about mangoes and giraffes (that's my favorite). Then my kids walk me to the bus stop and I have to literally pry them off of me so I can get on the bus. I come back to the house exhausted and go to boxing class, and by that I mean I never actually do go to boxing class, but I always mean to. We usually hang out all afternoon and then eat dinner here at the house. We watch a lot of movies. It's not very glamorous, I don't ride a giraffe to school or wrestle lions for dinner. But I've got students that I cherish and roommates that I have grown to love with all my heart and care for as brothers and sisters. :) On the weekends, we try to do cool things sometimes, but I'm on a pretty limited budget as I spent most of my money on going to Zanzibar (not that I'm complaining, it was so worth it.)

Question 7: What's the best thing so far?

Answer: This is the best thing so far. I love my students! This is Angel. The moment I met her, I loved her. I walked in my classroom on the very first day and saw a little girl dancing by herself in the corner. When she saw me she ran up to me, jumped into my arms, and said "I love you teacha." There were no conditions, she didn't know me, I never gave her anything. It was that simple, she saw me, she loved me. I smiled at her and said "I love you too." I had no choice. She loved me, I loved her back. I asked her name and she said "Angel." She was speaking more truth than she could know. My little Angel.  Don't be surprised if she's standing next to me when I get off the plane at home.

Question 8: What's the worst thing so far?
Answer: The end of my trip to Zanzibar. The first few days were INCREDIBLE! Its a gorgeous island with so much to see and I was so happy to be back at the beach where I belong, and then I fell pretty ill. It was about a hundred degrees and I was in bed freezing and shaking and sweating and coughing and begging for my mommy. Finally, it's time to leave and I am so ready to be back in my bed in Arusha, still feeling a bit sick, but much better than I had been. We took the ferry from Zanzibar to Dar Es Salaam. Let me just say that I love boats. I am usually the first one to suggest going for a boat ride, I love to sail on my friends' boats at home, but this boat was literally sent from Hell. It was three hours of wanting to die. I usually don't get seasick, but as I said, this boat was from the devil. For three hours, I vomited into plastic bags while still suffering from the flu. I could not tell if the water dripping from my face was caused by sweating or crying. Every few minutes, between pukes, I would turn to my friend Megan and say "I wanna go home." That's been the only time I've been legitimately serious about getting on a plane and going back to the states. But, eventually, it was over, and I was back in my nice bed in Arusha.

Question 9: Have you been taking your malaria pills?
Answer: Yes! Geeze, calm down!

Question 10: How much do you miss me?! (submitted by my best friend Kara)
Answer: SO MUCH! But that answer applies to all my friends and family. I was so surprised by how fiercely I miss my people. I've been away for long periods of time, but I think the difference is that I've always been able to text and talk on the phone much more conveniently. It's like in the movie 'The Invention of Lying' when Jennifer Garner says "I'm usually really happy, but some days I just lay in bed and eat and cry." I am so happy to be here, but I miss my loved ones dearly.

So I hope that gave you a little peek into what my life is like, if you have any more questions, ask away! much love