Consider the lilies of the field...

As I sit here in my bed, home with a twisted ankle, listening to Taylor Swift, I cannot help but believe that things always work out.
The past few weeks have been some of the most trying weeks of my life.
I've been dealing with some insomnia, which just makes me so exhausted, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. It's almost comical how much I've been crying.

I cry when I'm sad.
I cry when I'm tired.
I cry when I'm excited.
I cried when I took Rosie to the hospital. Many times.
I cried when I found out Rosie has malaria.
I cried when I came home and told everyone about my day at the hospital.
I cried when I had to wait for an hour at Western Union.
I cried when my friend told me the plot to the movie Simon Birch.
I cry every time I skype ANYONE. Seriously, if you don't want me to cry, don't skype me.
I cried when I talked to one of my favorite clients, Alyson, and she said nice things to me.
I cry every time someone says anything nice about me.
I cried when we were talking about getting proposed to at Disney World.
I cried when I went to pick Rosie up, and she was still sick.
I cried when I was reading the 1st Harry Potter this weekend, and Neville got awarded the 10 points that won Gryffindor the house cup, because I was just thinking that probably felt so great.
I cried when I didn't know how I would be able to pay Rosie's hospital bills.
I cried when an anonymous organization paid them for me.
I cried when $200 went missing from my suitcase.
I cried when one of my friends who was leaving, gave me money to help take Rosie to physio.
I cried this morning when I twisted my ankle on the way to school.
I am crying right now.

For the past few years, I've been a pretty big cry baby, but this is getting out of hand.
But hey, good news is coming!
In this difficult time, I am learning so much.
Every time something goes wrong, I feel like it is the end of the world.
But so far, nothing has been the end of the world yet.
The world is still in tact.
Things always work out.
On Sunday, I was talking to Rosie's school director telling him I did not know how I would be able to pay her hospital bills. He told me, "Katrinah, God will take care of you. You are doing a good thing for one of His children, He will take care of you." ...Two minutes later, Rosie's mom called and said that the people at the hospital had just told her that there was an organization paying for her hospital bills because she is disabled."
Things like this happen EVERY time something goes wrong.
It never stays wrong for long.
But still, I always get nervous when things go wrong.
Why? They ALWAYS turn out fine.
I am learning that I just need to trust that things will be okay.
I waste so much time worrying when something bad happens, and then all of a sudden, it's turned around, and I'm shocked every time. Like it's a surprise.
It's not a surprise. I am being taken care of. I need to trust that.
After almost 4 months in Africa, I am finally truly starting to realize I will never be forsaken.
I am not forgotten.
The birds of the air neither reap nor sow, the lilies of the field neither toil nor spin...
I'll be fine.
That's a beautiful epiphany.